Breakfast
by Cristinkn
Summary: Kaneki makes breakfast. When everyone comes down, it's a whole mess. [CRACK]


"Breakfast is ready!" Kaneki called, but nobody came down. "Really, now…"

"Why are you screaming so much? Jesus christ." Nishiki walked out of the bathroom, his hair a complete mess. "Nobody eats that shit anyways."

"It's for the ones who _can_. But they are not listening to me…" Kaneki pouted, folding his arms and giving a loud sigh.

"Why don't you splash cold water on them?" Nishiki asks, in a very serious tone.

"Can't. I'm not that mean…"

"Say you nominated them for the ice bucket challenge."

"Nishio."

"Fine. I'll call them." Nishiki rolled his eyes and walked towards the stairs, and coughed. "ALRIGHT LISTEN UP YOU SHITS. WE GON HAVE BREAKFAST. I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU AIN'T HUNGRY, _YOU ARE EATING THIS SHIT._ SO GET THE FUCK DOWN BEFORE I CUT OFF EVERYBODY'S DICKS."

Kaneki was staring in horror with his mouth open. He didn't understand.

"Jesus fucking Christ, do I have to do all the shit here? Seriously, why can't somebody just man up and face their fucking bullshit? I'm quitting. I'm fucking quitting." Nishio turned around and grunted some other insults under his breath.

Kaneki _still_ didn't understand.

"Damn." Hide walked down the stairs, yawning. "Kaneki, you didn't have to be _that_ cruel. Although I'll give you and A for outstanding insults. They made me cry a single tear." Hide said dramatically, pushing away a fake tear with his finger.

Kaneki laughed a little. "Sadly, it wasn't me. It was Nishio."

"Ah, that explains it." Hide nodded in understanding.

"Yes. I'll be right back, I'm going to take out the drinks." Kaneki said as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Kay."

"Good moooooooorning!" Hinami sang, as she quickly ran under Hide's arms.

"Morning, lil lady."

"Hey." Touka called from above, coming down the stairs. "What's for breakfast?"

"The broken dreams of innocent children. And for drinks we have the blood of virgins. That's about it." Hide said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh."

"Hurry up before it gets cold!" Hide pushed her away, towards the table.

"Right…" Touka whispered, confused. She seemed to be re evaluating her life choices.

"Okay, I'm back with the drin- Touka? Are you alright?" Kaneki stopped in his tracks when he saw the look of horror on Touka's face.

"Yes…" She answered, but she seemed to be about to cry. Kaneki was about to ask again, but _someone_ pulled him into an embrace from behind. Not knowing who it was, Kaneki turned aorund-

Only to have lips pressed against his.

In that moment, he realized who it was, and kissed back, his face heating up a bit.

"You didn't gave me my good morning kiss." Hide remarks with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah." Kaneki smiles back at him, and is about to kiss him again until-

Nishika intervened and pushed them away from each other. "Merry Christmas!" He yelled.

"But it's not christ-"

"Ho-Ho-Homos."

"Oh."

"Nishio!" Touka called him. "Leave them alone."

"Thank you, Touka." Kaneki smiled at her.

"The gays need their time alone." She finished.

"Oh."

"Bonjour!" Shuu called from behind them. "Ah, I smell the delicious scent of my favorite person near by- oh, Kaneki-kun! Didn't see you there!"

"Right." Kaneki is not amused.

"Ah, Kaneki-kun! That's no good! If you keep frowning like that, your face will stay like that forever!" Shuu cried as he pressed the spot between Kaneki's eyebrows.

"Shuu."

"Also Kaneki-kun, I have some hair products that would work on you."

"Shuu."

"And! I have more books that might interest you- no, that _will_ interest you! I'm sure of it!"

"Shuu."

"Oh and also-" But Tsukiyama couldn't finish, because Kaneki pull him down by his tie and kissed him quite passionately.

When he was done, he pressed the back of hand against his lips and rubbed it furiously.

However, Tsukiyama was lying on the floor not showing any signs of life.

"Sorry about that, Hide." Kaneki apologized. "That'll knock him till the next day."

"It's okay. I'm just jelly." Hide pouted.

"Hide." Kaneki looked at him seriously.

"Hm?"

Kaneki leaned and started whispering some things on his ear in a husky tone, and Hide's face grew red by the minute.

"Deal?" Kaneki said, when he was finished.

"D-Deal." Hide stuttered.

"Where's the homo asshole?" Touka yelled from the table.

"I think she's calling you, dear." Hide said.

"I think she's calling _you._" Kaneki answered

After attending what Touka wanted, ghouls and humans enjoyed their time together, listening, taking care of each other.

It was a good day.


End file.
